Thursday, July 14, 2005
14 year old girl suffers IM-related injuries Sally Biscuitweaver of Moosejaw, Alberta suffered severe internal injuries after an extreme ROFL during a chat session with a friend last Sunday afternoon. "Dude, I'm never describing my bowel movements with that much lucidity ever again" said a friend of Ms. Biscuitweaver. Local parental action groups are lobbying against the usage of such acronyms during online instant messaging and written-chat-related activites, citing them as being the root of computer-related injuries most affecting teens today. "For someone who reads real slow like me, it's very important that I'm not surprised by an explosion of feelings, or else I might not be able to handle it so well" says Corina Dewaty, co-author of "Emoticons: Friend or Explosive Foe?", and local parent. An anonymous Moosejaw school librarian condemns the negative hype surrounding the incident: "Are you kidding me? The kid was probably reading Meme Pool or Fark while on speed. Anyone who LOLs that hard has got to be on something." Ms. Biscuitweaver is in stable condition at a local hospital and will be undergoing MSN ActiveTherapy during her therapy.